I'm nervous...but any time you put yourself out there, expose a piece of yourself, you are teetering on brilliance and insecurity. I meant to post sooner, but have been pondering the purpose of my blog and have come to the conclusion (in the middle of the night) that I am going to go for it. I am going to take myself seriously as a blogger. Getting to this point required I be honest with myself, and it started with graduate school applications. In the fall my applications began. By March it was clear that I had been excepted to a masters program at Texas A&M with essentially a full-ride scholarship. The University of Utah also admitted me into a masters program. As a strong advocate for women's education and economic security, deferring Texas A&M and declining the U was painful. I felt disappointed in myself for declining, frustrated that I had even applied and put myself in that situation. But then I also knew that if I hadn't applied, I would have never seen so clearly that these programs were not right for me, not right for now. It feels good to finally put into words: I felt like I was letting the academic me/the women's studies me/the advocate me down. And it felt like a relief and panic all at the same time.
Independent of our little Nugget, I am sure this is the choice I would have made. But I never expected motherhood to be so fantastic.