Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Work hard. Be fierce. Take naps.
I became consciously aware that I was taking a week off from blogging last Thursday. The fact that I didn't notice on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday really solidified that I was probably too busy and unfocused to blog anyways. Yes last Thursday I sat in my craft room, looked at my camera and then my laptop and exhaled "We need a break. We'll start fresh next week." I mean, of course I had 1,782 other projects simultaneously in the works. As always. But having one less thing-1,782 instead of 1,783-made the difference. Left just enough space in my mind to ponder where I want to be and what I want to be. In the back of my mind I probed: What do I love about me? What changes do I want to make?
I am a hard worker. If nothing else, at the end of any given day I can hold my chin up high and say I worked hard and played hard and squeezed every last bit of juice out of my day. This trait and habit seems so foundational to the person I am and want to be. Every grade, photo, story are all bits of my work, and where talent fails, hard work steps in. You say, "I can do hard things" and I say, "If you work hard". And I kind of love this aspect of life. I feel like working hard is the little miracle given to us to help us make up the difference. Olympian's have natural talent for sure, but hard work fills the gap between great and best in the world. Hard work is my security blanket. I know I can count on hard work to see me through.
I want to attack life. You know?...really jump into it with both feet. I want to take risks, and not just the small ones, but the big ones. I want to embrace my heartfelt and intense passion for life like it's my everything and I don't want feel complacent. Being fierce is about being aggressive. Not letting life just happen to you, but molding life into the adventure you want is to be. I think it takes a great deal of bravery and fierceness to actually live the life you dream of living. Last week I decided I can't just talk about my passionate life. I am going to go ahead and live it.
Literally, it's okay to skip a few things you "have to do" and just sleep instead. Skip a week of blogging. Don't do laundry. I desire more metaphorical naps as well. More vacations and long walks. Taking naps from crossing things off lists and use that time to develop talents and indulge in a good book. Taking naps is also about taking breaks. Breaks from working and being fierce and breaks from people, especially the people who drain you. My single favorite part of graduating from high school was that I no longer was forced be around toxic people. Being a kind a cordial person is at the center of my personal goals, but I think there is something self-healing about distancing yourself from people who make you feel drained. There are plenty of people who suck the life out of life and I don't really need to spend my naps with them.
So after a good long week away from this blog of mine, I came to the conclusion that if I really wanted this to last and I really wanted to find joy in life I needed to keep working hard (I mean really really hard), live the hell out of life, and throw in a few breaks. Nothing revolutionary but insightful nonetheless.